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One of the most common questions that I get asked is, "How do I make
the initial approach?" or "How do I approach a woman?"
What they are really asking is, "How can I approach a woman without getting
rejected or embarrassed?"
A lot of men (and I do mean a lot) are afraid to approach a complete
stranger because they are afraid of getting rejected. You see, men like
to be in control most of the time. This is why we don't like asking for
directions. We don't like asking for help.
So when a man wants to talk to a woman, he feels as if he little or no
control of the situation. He's afraid of the rejection that might happen.
But here's the catch-22 of this way of thinking. If you want to learn how to
approach women, what you have to do?
That's right, you actually need to approach women and talk to them!
First of all, you need to realize that in most cases, if a woman
is not interested it usually has nothing to do with you!
She might be busy.
She might be in a relationship.
She may not like men.
She's at a point in her life where she's not ready to meet someone new.
This shouldn't keep you from approaching women. So how do you approach
a woman without having to feel rejected?
You first need to understand that attractive women are constantly
getting hit on. They get an average of 20 to 40 sexual innuendos thrown
at them each day.
So when you first approach a woman make sure you are NOT doing the same
thing that every guy does. Don't tell her how pretty she is. Don't ask
her if she has a boyfriend, and don't ask her, "Hey, can I take you out sometime."
Let me give you one example on how you can approach a total stranger just about
anywhere.
First, notice something about her. Does she have a French manicure? Do you like
her shoes or her boots? What about her jewelry?
Walk right up to her with the right body language (exuding confidence, which means
get your hands out of your pockets, stand up straight, and hold your eye contact with
her).
Then start off with, "Excuse me". Then pause for 2-3 seconds.
"I couldn't help but notice your shoes, they are stunning! They really go
well with your outfit. Where did you get them?"
Act as though you are in a hurry. Then after she tells you say, "Ok,
thanx, I have a friend who would really like those. Well, I've got
to get going. It was nice meeting you."
Then walk away.
Just after a few steps, turn around and say, "You know what do you have
email?"
If she's from the 21st century she will say, "yes".
Then whip out a pen and paper and put it right in front of her.
Do it expectantly.
Then say something along these lines: "I'd really like to talk
more about your shoes, but I've really got to get going. I'd like
to email you so we can continue talking."
Don't over analyze it, just go out and do it. This really does work.
Now for you skeptical folks out there, you might be thinking, "Yeah, but
what if she says 'oh, I have a boyfriend.'"
If she says that just say, "That's funny, I wasn't here to ask you out,
I simply wanted to talk more about fashion with you. So it's OK to give
me your email address."
Even if she makes a big deal of, you shouldn't. Just keep your composure and
make fun of her if she makes a big deal out of it. You can even say, "Listen,
I realize you might be a stalker and just might pop through my computer monitor, but
I'm willing to take that chance."
Then just let out a little smirk when you say it. If she's a woman with a sense
of humor and is FUN she'll go along with it.
So how do you approach women? You simply walk up to them, say "excuse me"
(don't forget your manners) and then share an observation about HER that you've made.
Such as her shoes, hair, nails, or any of her accessories.
Use that as a starter topic. And if she's not game, then she's not worthy
of getting to know you.
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